Reverse kegels: learning to release the pelvic floor

A reverse kegel is the opposite of a kegel: instead of squeezing and lifting the pelvic floor, you gently let it drop, widen and lengthen. It trains the muscles to relax on purpose, which is often what women with a tight pelvic floor and pain during sex need most. It is a small, soft movement, closer to letting go than to pushing.

Why releasing is a skill

Most people assume relaxation happens by itself. For the pelvic floor that is not always true. Muscles that have been guarding for months or years against pain, stress or habit can forget what their true resting position feels like. They may relax a little, then stop short.

A reverse kegel gives you a clear, repeatable target. Over time it helps:

• lower the background tension in a hypertonic pelvic floor
• make penetration, tampons and pelvic exams more comfortable
• make it easier to empty the bladder and bowel without straining
• restore full range, so that strengthening exercises work better later

Research on relaxation training specifically is still limited. A 2025 narrative review found only a handful of trials and called for better studies, but noted a tendency toward benefit. In practice, relaxation and down-training are a standard part of pelvic floor physical therapy for pain.

How to do a reverse kegel

Start lying down. Gravity and a supported body make the movement easier to feel.

1. Lie on your back with knees bent and feet flat, or with your legs resting on pillows. Let your belly soften.
2. Place one hand on your lower belly. Take a slow breath in through your nose, letting your belly and lower ribs expand.
3. As you breathe in, imagine your sit bones moving slightly apart and the area between your vagina and anus softening and dropping a few millimeters. Some women picture a flower opening, or the very start of letting urine pass.
4. Breathe out slowly and let the pelvic floor return to rest. Do not squeeze back up.
5. Repeat for 8 to 10 breaths.

The movement is subtle. If you watch with a hand mirror you may see the perineum bulge very slightly outward, rather than draw inward as it does with a kegel.

Progressions

Once it feels familiar lying down, try it:

• in a deep, supported squat, or sitting on a large ball
• in child's pose or happy baby, which lengthen the pelvic floor naturally
• sitting on the toilet, to help with complete emptying
• before using vaginal dilators or before intimacy, as part of a calm warm-up

Common mistakes

• Straining. Holding your breath and bearing down hard raises pressure on the pelvic organs. The release should be effortless.
• Clenching elsewhere. Glutes, inner thighs and jaw should stay soft.
• Going too fast. One breath, one release. Rushing tends to turn it into a push.
• Expecting a big movement. A few millimeters is enough.
• Stopping the exhale with a squeeze. On the out-breath, simply let the muscles come back to rest.

How to tell whether it is working

Progress with release work is quieter than progress with strengthening. There is no number of seconds to beat. Signs that the practice is doing its job include:

• you notice tension sooner during the day, and can let it go
• the pelvic area feels warmer, heavier or softer after a session
• starting to pee or open your bowels takes less effort
• insertion of a finger, tampon or dilator feels less like meeting a wall
• pain after sex fades faster, or flares less often

Keeping a short weekly note of these changes helps, because day-to-day differences are easy to miss. If after several weeks of regular practice nothing has shifted, or you are unsure whether you are doing the movement at all, that is a good moment to get feedback from a professional rather than practicing harder.

Reverse kegels and painful sex

Pain during penetration often sets up a loop: you expect pain, the pelvic floor tightens, penetration hurts more, and the expectation grows. Reverse kegels give you a way to interrupt that loop from the muscle side. Many therapists teach women to time a gentle release with an in-breath at the moment of entry, whether that is a finger, a dilator, a tampon or a partner.

This works best combined with plenty of arousal, lubrication and a sense of control over pace. Our guides on vaginismus and sensate focus cover the emotional and relational side of breaking the cycle.

Combining reverse kegels with regular kegels

Kegels and reverse kegels are not rivals. A healthy pelvic floor needs to contract and to release. For a tight pelvic floor, the usual order is release first, then strength. For a weak pelvic floor, strength comes first, but every squeeze should still end with a full let-go. Many therapists pair them: a kegel, a full release, then a gentle reverse kegel to check the muscles have truly dropped back.

Our main guide to pelvic floor exercises explains the strengthening side.

When to be careful

Reverse kegels are gentle, but they are not right for everyone at every moment. Ask a professional before starting if you:

• have been diagnosed with pelvic organ prolapse, or feel a bulge or heaviness in the vagina
• are in the first weeks after birth, a tear or pelvic surgery
• notice more leaking when you bear down
• feel pain that increases with the exercise

A pelvic floor physical therapist can check whether you are releasing correctly, often using biofeedback or a gentle internal assessment, and fit the exercise into a broader plan.